I'm jealous of your bromance
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
