i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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