Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you will always have a special place in my vag
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
