My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
