she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
