SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
