Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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