At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
