I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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