I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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