i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
