just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
