why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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