My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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