She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
