yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize