i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
