hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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