I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
