My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
