I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
