Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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