Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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