he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
