mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
