Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
