tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
