Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My cat gives me a boner
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize