Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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