I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
