I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
