Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
