Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
