there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
