Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
