is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize