Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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