it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
