You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
