I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
