Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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