I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
