marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
