Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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