I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
