i just google imaged poop.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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