oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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