Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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