Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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