hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize