a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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