So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
