so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
