you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
