I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
