i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
