It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
