she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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