I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
