Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
