I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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