I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
