I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
