hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
