I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
can u get pink eye on your cock?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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