Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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