I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
