Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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