It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
