That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
