Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
