His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
