i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
